Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
A brother should help his
sister to obey Allaah, which includes advising her to wear hijab which is
enjoined by Allaah, and using wise methods in doing so, exhorting and
calling her in the way that is best. He should avoid being harsh and cruel,
for there is no kindness in a thing but it adorns it, and it is not taken
away from a thing but it makes it defective. Allaah says (interpretation of
the meaning):
“Invite (mankind, O
Muhammad صلىالله عليه وسلم) to the way
of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Revelation and
the Qur’aan) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is
better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His path, and
He is the Best Aware of those who are guided”
[al-Nahl 16:125]
“And by the Mercy of
Allaah, you dealt with them gently. And had you been severe and
harsh‑hearted, they would have broken away from about you”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:159]
“And say to My slaves
(i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say
those words that are the best. (Because) Shaytaan (Satan) verily, sows a
state of conflict and disagreements among them. Surely, Shaytaan (Satan) is
to man a plain enemy”
[al-Isra’ 17:53]
The Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah is Kind and loves kindness,
and He rewards for kindness in a way that He does not reward for harshness
or for anything else.” Narrated by Muslim (2593).
And he (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever is deprived of kindness is
deprived of goodness.” Narrated by Muslim (2592).
This kindness is required
even more so of the daa’iyah if his words are addressed to his family and
relatives, because of the rights they have of kinship, kindness and respect.
Secondly:
Shunning those who follow
innovation and commit sin is prescribed in Islam, if one thinks it most
likely that it will be of benefit and have an effect, as the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) shunned the three who stayed
behind from the campaign to Tabook, until Allaah accepted their repentance.
But shunning may make a
person more rebellious and stubborn, and prevent further opportunities to
advise and call him; in that case it should not be done.
Shunning is like medicine;
it may be used when needed, if it is thought most likely that it will be of
benefit.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn
Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Shunning varies according to
the strength or weakness of those who are doing it, and whether they are few
or many. The purpose of it is to rebuke and discipline the one who is being
shunned, and to put others off from being like him. If that is likely to
serve an interest, so that shunning him will weaken and reduce the evil,
then it is prescribed, But if neither the one who is being shunned nor
anyone else will be deterred by that, rather it will make things worse, and
the one who wants to shun him is weak, so that it will do more harm than
good, then it is not prescribed to shun, rather softening people’s hearts
may be more beneficial in some cases than shunning.
And shunning is more
beneficial in some cases then softening hearts. Hence the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) softened the hearts of some
people and shunned others. End quote from Majmoo’ al-Fataawa,
28/206.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may
Allaah have mercy on him) was asked: Some young men – may Allaah guide us
and them – are very negligent about prayer, to the extent of neglecting it
altogether. These young men may be our relatives such as brothers and the
like, and some of them are friends. How should we deal with them in your
opinion? Should we shun them as prescribed in Islam or what?
He replied: undoubtedly
neglecting prayer is a cause of doom, because if prayer is done properly all
one’s deeds will be in order, but if it is not in order, all of one’s deeds
will be spoiled. It is like the heart of one's deeds. Hence when the
Reckoning comes on the Day of Resurrection, the first thing that will be
examined will be one's prayer. If a person neglected it then he is more
likely to have neglected other duties, but if he prayed regularly then the
rest of his deeds will be examined. And prayer is the pillar (or foundation)
of faith; if it falls, the entire structure will collapse. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
“Then, there has
succeeded them a posterity who have given up As‑Salaah (the prayers) [i.e.
made their Salaah (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering them or by
not offering them perfectly or by not offering them in their proper fixed
times] and have followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell.
60. Except those who
repent and believe (in the Oneness of Allaah and His Messenger Muhammad
صلى الله عليه وسلم), and work
righteousness. Such will enter Paradise and they will not be wronged in
aught”
[Maryam 19:59-60].
If people take the matter
of prayer lightly, whether they are fathers, sons, brothers, uncles, aunts,
other relatives, friends or neighbours, we must advise them, warn them and
explain to them what goodness, great reward and good effects there are in
prayer, and what evil and doom there is in neglecting it. If they pay heed,
this is what we want. If they do not pay heed, then we should look at the
matter further. Will shunning them and keeping away from them serve any
interest such as making them feel ashamed so that they will repent, or will
it only make matters worse and put them off more? If it is the latter, then
we should not forsake them. If it is the former, then we should shun them,
i.e., if our shunning them will make them feel ashamed and mend their ways,
then we should shun them until they mend their ways. But if shunning will
not achieve anything, rather it will only make matters worse, then we should
not shun them, because shunning is a medicine, and when is medicine used? It
is used when needed and when it is thought it will be of benefit. If it is
thought that the medicine will not be of benefit, then it should not be
used. End quote from Liqa’ al-Baab il-Maftooh (5/209).
Secondly:
You have no right to resort
to beating your sister if she insists on not wearing hijab, because you have
no authority over her in this regard. It is sufficient for you to advise and
explain, and to seek the help of your parents, and remind them of the
responsibility that Allaah has given them to look after those who are under
their care, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you who believe! Ward
off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and
stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey
not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that
which they are commanded”
[al-Tahreem 66:6]
And the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and
each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a
shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his
household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her
husband’s house and children and is responsible for her flock. The slave is
the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you
is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (893) and Muslim (1829).
We ask Allaah to guide your
sister.
And Allaah knows best.