Praise be to Allaah.
A man has to
get his son married if the son needs to get married and cannot afford to do
so by himself, according to the more correct of the two scholarly opinions,
because the need for marriage may be no less than the need for food and
drink, so it comes under the heading of obligatory spending.
said in al-Insaaf (9/204): A man is obliged to keep chaste those on
whom he is obliged to spend, namely fathers, grandfathers, sons, grandsons
and others on whom he is obliged to spend. This is the correct view in the
madhhab of Imam Ahmad. End quote.
‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: A person’s need for marriage
is urgent and in some cases may be like the need for food and drink. Hence
the scholars said that it is obligatory for the one who is obliged to spend
on a person to arrange his marriage if he can afford that. So the father has
to get his son married if the son needs to get married and cannot afford it.
But I have heard about some fathers who forget how they were when they were
young, when their sons ask them to help them get married, they say, Get
married at your own expense. This is not permissible and it is haraam if he
can afford to get him married. His son will dispute with him on the Day of
Resurrection if he did not get him married when he was able to do so.
If there is
a conflict between the father’s Hajj and the son’s getting married, because
the father only has enough money for one of them, then he should look to see
whether his son’s marriage is essential right now, or can it be delayed? If
the son needs to get married and fears that he may do something haraam, then
getting him married takes precedence over the father’s doing Hajj. It takes
precedence over the father’s Hajj for two reasons:
him chaste and protecting him against doing haraam things is obligatory and
cannot be delayed, whereas Hajj may be delayed until Allaah makes it
2 –Hajj is
not obligatory for the father unless he has money that is surplus to what he
needs to spend for his own expenses and those of the people on whom he is
obliged to spend. In this case he is obliged to get his son married so that
he will not do something haraam.
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Mughni (5/12): If he needs
to get married and fears hardship for himself, then getting married takes
precedence over Hajj, because it is obligatory for him and he cannot do
without it, so it is like spending on his maintenance. But if he has no such
fear, then Hajj takes precedence, because marriage is voluntary and should
not take precedence over the obligatory Hajj. End quote.
al-Majmoo’ (7/71) by al-Nawawi, and question no.
But if the
son does not need to get married or he does not fear that he may do haraam
things if he delays marriage, then he does not have to get him married now,
and in this case Hajj is obligatory for the father, because he has money
that is surplus to what he needs for his own expenses and those of the
people on whom he is obliged to spend. Allaah says (interpretation of the
(pilgrimage to Makkah) to the House (Ka‘bah) is a duty that mankind owes to
Allaah, those who can afford the expenses (for one’s conveyance, provision
and residence); and whoever disbelieves [i.e. denies Hajj (pilgrimage to
Makkah), then he is a disbeliever of Allaah], then Allaah stands not in need
of any of the ‘Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists)”
[Aal ‘Imraan 3:97]