Praise be to Allaah.
note that people are not all the same when it comes to marriage. The basic
principle that marriage, which was the way of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him), is prescribed, applies to all people, but
it may be more important in the case of some people than others.
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
to marriage, people are of three types:
1 – Some
fear that they may fall into haraam things if they do not get married. Such
a person has to get married, according to the majority of fuqaha’, because
he has to keep himself chaste and protect himself against doing haraam
things, and the way to do that is getting married.
2 – For
some it is mustahabb. This is the one who feels desire but there is no
danger of his falling into haraam. It is better for him to get married than
to devote himself to naafil acts of worship. This is the view of ashaab
al-ra’y and it is the view of the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them
and their deeds).
said: If I only had ten days to live and I knew that I would die at the end
of them, and I had any desire to get married, I would get married, for fear
of fitnah (temptation).
narrated that Sa’eed ibn Jubayr said: Ibn ‘Abbaas said to me: “Have you
“Get married, for the best of this ummah are the ones with the most wives.”
Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5069).
ibn Maysarah said: Tawoos said to me: “Either get married, or I will say to
you what ‘Umar said to Abu’l-Zawaa’id: Nothing is keeping you from getting
married except impotence or immorality.”
3 – Those
who have no desire, either because they were not created with any desire,
such as one who is impotent, or they had desire but it has disappeared due
to old age, sickness and so on. There are two opinions:
It is mustahabb to get married
because of the general meaning of what we have discussed.
Remaining single is better for
him because he cannot achieve the purpose of marriage, and he would be
preventing his wife from becoming chaste by marrying someone else. And he
would be harming her by keeping her for himself, and he is exposing himself
to obligations and duties that perhaps he cannot fulfil, and he is
distracting himself from seeking knowledge and worship with something that
is of no benefit to him.
(may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The apparent meaning of the words of
Ahmad is that there is no difference between the one who can afford it and
the one who cannot. He said: a man should get married and if he can afford
to spend he should spend, and if he cannot then he should be patient.
to one who is able to get married. As for the one who cannot, Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning): “And let those who find not the
financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allaah enriches
them of His Bounty” [al-Noor 24:33]. End quote from al-Mughni
point we would like to ask you about the reason for this aversion to
If you think
that not getting married is an act of worship by means of which you can draw
closer to the Lord of the Worlds, and you think that if you avoid marriage
this will raise you in status before Allaah, you are mistaken and there is
the fear that you may be sinning.
narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Three
people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it
was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in
comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)?
Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I
will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and
never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never
get married. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By
Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most
pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry
women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.” Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (5063) and Muslim (1401).
See also the
answer to question no. 34652.
If you do
not want to get married because you have no sexual desire, or you think that
you are not able to fulfil the duties of marriage, and you are afraid of
falling short in meeting a wife’s needs, I say to you: In that case there is
no sin on you if you do not get married, but do not rely on your thoughts
and notions. Rather you should consult a specialist doctor and ask him for
advice, for he is most able to diagnose your condition, and he may have some
advice for treatment that has never crossed your mind. So do not hesitate to
visit him and do not let shyness stop you, for matters of medical treatment
are not the place for shyness.
If you say
that you are afraid of being poor, and you do not have enough wealth to look
after a family, I say to you: Try your best to earn a living and be content
and think positively of Allaah, for He has promised on the lips of His
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that He will help
the one who wants to be chaste and seeks that which is halaal by getting
narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“There are three whom Allaah is bound to help: the mujaahid who strives (in
jihad) for the sake of Allaah, the mukaatib (a slave who has made a contract
of manumission with his master) who wants to pay off his manumission, and a
man who gets married, seeking to remain chaste.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi
(1655), classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
If you have
something that you want to achieve – such as a certificate, a position, a
project and so on – and you say that you want to achieve that first, then
you will get married, we say to you: Why are you ignoring marriage for that
never been a barrier to achieving things, rather in most cases it is a
support and a help. That is just the whisperings of the shaytaan, which he
has instilled in the minds of many young men so that it has become prevalent
in our culture and society, and you hear many of those who have delayed
their own marriages or the marriages of their sons and daughters saying such
things, and our society has become burdened with problems resulting from
large numbers of single men and women, and the delay of marriage, but
despite that we have not seen any achievement, development or progress,
whereas the first generation of Muslims used to hasten to do good and they
did not delay marriage, and their achievements were the greatest and most
complete of achievements.
Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa
required is to hasten to get married, and no young man or young woman should
delay marriage for the sake of studies, because marriage does not prevent
any such thing. It is possible for a young man to get married in order to
protect his religious commitment and morals, and enable him to lower his
gaze. Marriage serves many purposes, especially in this day and age. Because
delaying it is harmful for both young women and young men, every young man
and every young woman should hasten to get married if there is a man who is
compatible with the woman, and if a man can find the right woman. End
And over and
above all that, how about if you realize that marriage will protect half of
narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Whomever Allaah has blessed with a righteous wife, He has helped him with
half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half.
Narrated by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak (2/175), al-Tabaraani in
al-Awsat (1/294) and al-Bayhaqi in Shu’ab al-Eemaan (4/382).
Al-Haakim said: This is a hadeeth with a saheeh isnaad, although they
(al-Bukhaari and Muslim) did not narrate it. Al-Dhahabi said in
al-Talkhees: it is saheeh. It was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Targheeb (2/192).
How about if
you realise that by getting married, you will have followed the advice of
the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
when he said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get
married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s
chastity.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5065)and Muslim (1400).
How about if
you realize that by producing a righteous child you will have ongoing
charity (sadaqah jaariyah), if you raise him with good morals and faith, and
you will be rewarded for your marriage if you seek reward with Allaah for
that. See the answer to question no.
married, you will be protecting yourself, lowering your gaze, and closing
the door to one of the greatest means by which the shaytaan deceives people.
You may not feel the seriousness of that now, but fitnah may come from
places a person does not realize, so you should be keen to close the door
before it is opened without you realizing it.
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I have not left
behind me any fitnah more harmful to men than women.” Narrated by
al-Bukhaari (5096) and Muslim (2741).
a source of tranquillity and peace, and it is the best of the pleasures of
this world. In it is that which Allaah has made a sign for His slaves, and
He has mentioned it in His Book so that they may think and ponder the
greatness of His might, may He be glorified and exalted. Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among
yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you
affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who
Can there be
any hesitation after this?
and put your trust in Allaah, and Allaah will help you, and will provide you
with a righteous wife who will help you to obey your Lord and He will bless
you with righteous offspring who will be a stored treasure for you with
Allaah in the Hereafter.
See also the
answer to question no. 6254.