Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Allaah has enjoined fairness when giving to children, both
males and females.
It was narrated from al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer that his father
brought him to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) and said: “I have given this son of mine a slave.” He said,
“Have you given a similar gift to all of your children?” He said, “No.” He
said, “Then take it back.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2446) and Muslim
(1623).
With regard to a parent favouring some children over others
in giving, he or she should be fair in giving to them, either by taking back
the gift, or giving gifts to the others so that they are all treated
fairly.
See al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 11/359.
Secondly:
The prohibition on favouring one child over another in
gift-giving applies to the mother just as it applies to the father, because
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Fear
Allaah and treat your children fairly.” And because she is one of the two
parents, and she is forbidden to favour one child over another just as the
father is. If the father shows favour to some of the children, that
generates hatred and resentment. The same applies if the mother shows favour
to some of her children over others. End quote. Al-Mughni, 8/261.
Thirdly:
The way in which gifts
should be shared out among children, according to sharee’ah, is the same as
the way in which inheritance is shared out, with the male getting the share
of two females, because there is nothing more just than the way of dividing
that is prescribed by Allaah.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said in al-Ikhtiyaaraat (p. 184):
It is obligatory to treat children justly in gift-giving,
along the same lines as the shares of inheritance. This is the view of
Ahmad. End quote.
Shurayh al-Qaadi said to a man who shared out his wealth
among his children: The way in which Allaah has shared it is more just than
the way in which you have shared it. Take it back and share it out in the
manner decreed by Allaah. Narrated by ‘Abd al-Razzaaq in his Musannaf.
‘Ata’ said: “They only
used to share out (wealth) according to the Book of Allaah.
See al-Mughni, 8/261
It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (16/197):
If your father wants to share out his wealth or some of his
wealth among his children, he should share it out among males and females in
accordance with the shares of inheritance prescribed by sharee’ah, whereby
the male gets the share of two females. End quote.
Fourthly:
If the children are adults of sound mind, it is permissible
for the father or mother to give one of their children less than others, so
long as that it with their agreement and without any pressure.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
The father must be just
and fair to his children, males and females, along the lines of the shares
of inheritance. It is not permissible for him to give gifts to some of them
and not to others, except with the consent of those who are not given, if
they are mature. Their consent should not be given out of fear of their
father, rather it should be given willingly, with no threats or fear of
their father. Not differentiating between them is better in all cases, and
is better for their hearts, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: “Fear Allaah and treat your children justly.”
Saheeh – agreed upon. End quote.
Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz,
9/452
The Shaykh (may Allaah have mercy on him) also said:
There is no doubt that some children may be better than
others, this is something that is well known, but the father has no right to
differentiate between them because of that. Rather he must be fair, because
the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Fear
Allaah and treat your children justly.” So it is not permissible for him to
differentiate between them because one is better or honours his parents more
than another. Rather he must treat them fairly and be sincere towards all of
them, so that they will be kind to and honour their parents and obey Allaah
and His Messenger. But he should not differentiate between them in gift
giving, or leave money to some of them and not to others; rather they should
all be treated fairly in terms of inheritance and gift-giving, and he should
treat them fairly as prescribed in sharee’ah, with a male being given the
share of two females. If a male child is given a thousand, a female should
be given five hundred. If they are mature and easy-going, and they say,
“Give our brother such and such,” and they clearly state that they do not
mind if he is given a car or whatever, and it is clear that their tolerance
is genuine and is not done under pressure or because they are afraid of him,
then there is nothing wrong with that.
What matters is that they should be treated fairly, unless
the children are mature, whether males or females, and they do not mind if
one of them is given something extra because of special circumstances, in
which case there is nothing wrong with that and they have the right to do
that. End quote.
Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz,
9/235.
Based on this, what your
mother must do is to share this wealth fairly among you, giving each male
the share of two females. If some of you are given more with the approval of
the others, there is nothing wrong with that in sha Allaah.
And Allaah knows best.