Praise be to Allaah.
What you have done, marrying a woman who has
children and was suffering from numerous problems is an action for which you deserve to be praised and rewarded, especially since she is
religiously-committed as seems to be the case from your question.
Islam encourages the one who wants to get
married to look for a woman who is religiously-committed, for she is the best kind of wife he can have. She will keep herself and her husband
chaste, and raise his children in the manner that Allaah likes. She will obey her husband and not disobey him. Marriage to a virgin is encouraged
in sharee’ah and is better than marrying a previously-married woman, but the previously-married woman may have characteristics that make her
better than a virgin, such as if marriage to her serves a purpose that cannot be met by marrying a virgin, or if her religious commitment and
attitude is better than that of a virgin.
Al-Bukhaari (4052) and Muslim (715) narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me: “Have you got married, O Jaabir?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “To a virgin or to a
previously-married woman?” I said, “To a previously-married woman, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said, “Why not a young girl with whom you could play
and she could play with you?” I said, “My father was killed on the day of Uhud, and he left behind nine daughters. I did not like to bring to them
someone like them, and I wanted to bring a woman who could look after them and guide them.” He said, “May Allaah bless you,” or he said good words
to me. According to one report he said, “You did the right thing.” And according to a version narrated by Muslim, “Then that is better. For women
may be married for their religious commitment, their wealth or their beauty. Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed
with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”
Al-Shawkaani said in Nayl al-Awtaar
This indicates that it is mustahabb to marry
virgins, except for one who has a reason to marry a previously-married woman, as happened in the case of Jaabir. End quote.
“Then that is better” means, what you did by
marrying a previously-married woman is better or is good. End quote.
So you have done well by marrying this woman,
and what people say should not matter to you after that. You have done what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did, for
most of his wives had been previously married.
It is not essential for your parents to agree
with your marriage, especially if their objections are for the reasons you mentioned. We have previously quoted in the answer to question no.
21052 the fatwa of Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Humayyid concerning this matter, so
please read it as it is important.
You have to repent and seek Allaah’s
forgiveness for being harsh towards your parents. You have to be gentle with them and try to please them. You can argue with them in the way that
is better so as to convince them, and in this way you can combine two things: marrying whom you want and pleasing your parents, which is
With regard to the hadeeth, “Paradise is at
the feet of mothers,” this wording is not saheeh.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas and from Anas.
The hadeeth of Ibn ‘Abbaas was narrated by
Ibn ‘Adiyy in al-Kaamil (6/347). He said: this is a munkar hadeeth [a category of weak hadeeth].
The hadeeth of Anas was narrated by
al-Khateeb al-Baghdaadi, and it is da’eef (weak).
Concerning this subject there is also the
report narrated by al-Khateeb in his Jaami’ and by al-Qadaa’i in his Musnad, from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) and
attributed to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Paradise is at the feet of mothers.” Its isnaad includes Mansoor ibn
al-Muhaajir and Abu’l-Nadr al-Abaar, both of whom are unknown.
Al-Khateeb also mentioned it narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him), and
classed it as da’eef.
Shaykh al-Albaani said of the hadeeth of Ibn
‘Abbaas that it is mawdoo’ (fabricated). And he said:
We can do without it and refer instead to the
hadeeth of Mu’aawiyah ibn Jaahimah, who said that he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger
of Allaah, I want to go out for jihad and I have come to consult you.” He said, “Do you have a mother?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then stay with
her, for Paradise is at her feet.”
Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 2/54, and by others
such as al-Tabaraani (1/225/2), and its isnaad is hasan in sha Allah. Al-Haakim classed it as saheeh (4/151) and al-Dhahabi agreed with him, as
did al-Mundhiri, 3/214.
And Allaah knows best.