Praise be to Allah.
Islam is kufr (disbelief) and apostasy from Islam, according to scholarly
consensus. The one who does that has to repent to Allah sincerely, by
regretting what he has done and resolving not to go back to it. If he
repents, Allah will accept his repentance. Allah, may He be exalted, says
(interpretation of the meaning):
‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing
evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, verily, Allah
forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful” [39:53].
It was narrated from Abu Moosa (may Allah
be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) said: “Allah holds out His hand at night to accept the repentance of
those who have sinned during the day, and He holds out his hand by day to
accept the repentance of those who have sinned at night – until the sun
rises from its place of setting.” [Muslim]
You have to repent and do a lot of
righteous deeds. With regard to thinking about whether this was done in a
state of anger or not, this comes under the heading of waswasah (whispers
from the Shaytaan), who wants to divert you from repentance or weaken your
fear of Allah and your efforts to do righteous deeds. If you understand the
abhorrent nature and seriousness of what you did, that impels you to strive
to do good and to instil in your heart humility before Allah; it makes you
pin your hopes on His grace, kindness and pardon. But if your nafs
(self/ego) makes falsehood attractive to you and detracts from the
seriousness of the crime by claiming that it happened in a moment of anger,
then this will weaken your resolve and distract you from turning to Allah.
It should be noted that anger is not an
excuse in all cases; rather the anger that may excuse a person is anger in
which he loses his ability of discernment to the extent that he does not
know what he is saying. If this happened once, it does not happen
repeatedly. Many of those who have the problem of reviling Islam could never
revile their fathers or someone they hold in high esteem or the father of an
opponent in an argument and the like, no matter how angry they become, but
they do revile the religion because their hearts are devoid of faith and
they are lacking in respect towards Allah, His Messenger and His religion.
We ask Allah to keep us safe and sound. If there was any faith in his heart
it would prevent him from reviling religion.
So ignore this waswaas (whisper). You have
committed a grave sin, but you have a Lord Who is Most Merciful, Most
Generous, Who accepts the repentance of the one who repents, forgives sins,
and replaces evil deeds with good deeds. So prepare to strive hard, fill
your heart with veneration and respect towards Allah, may He be exalted, and
His religion, read a lot of Quran and do a lot of righteous deeds.
We ask Allah to accept your repentance and
forgive your sin.
And Allah knows best.