Praise be to Allah.
Reviling Allah or reviling Islam constitutes kufr (disbelief) and apostasy
from Islam, according to scholarly consensus. The one who does that has to
repent sincerely to Allah, by regretting what has happened and resolving not
to go back to it again. If he repents, Allah will accept his repentance.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Say:
O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by
committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, verily,
Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[39:53].
It
was narrated from Abu Moosa (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah holds out His hand
at night to accept the repentance of those who have sinned during the day,
and He holds out his hand by day to accept the repentance of those who have
sinned at night – until the sun rises from its place of setting.” [
Muslim].
So
you have to repent, turn to Allah and do a lot of righteous deeds. As for
thinking about whether this reviling was done deliberately or not, this is
whispers from the Shaytan who wants to distract you from repenting or weaken
your fear of Allah and your efforts to do righteous deeds. If you understand
the abhorrent nature of what you did, and its grave seriousness, that will
make you strive to do good and will generate in your heart feelings of
submission and humility before Allah; it will make you pin your hopes on His
grace, kindness and forgiveness. But if your nafs (self/ego) makes falsehood
appealing to you, and makes the offence seem less serious by claiming that
it was done in a state of anger, then this will weaken your resolve and
lessen your desire to turn to Allah.
You
should understand that the kind of anger that causes a person to lose his
mind, that a person may be excused for, is that which causes him to lose the
ability to distinguish matters to such an extent that he does not know what
he is saying. If this happens once, it does not happen repeatedly. Many of
those who have the problem of reviling Islam, or reviling Allah or reviling
His Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) would not be able
to revile their fathers or a person whom they hold in high esteem or the
father of his opponent and the like, no matter how intense his anger is, but
he can revile Islam because of the lack of faith in his heart and his lack
of respect for Allah and for His messenger and His religion. We ask Allah to
keep us safe and sound. If there were any faith in the heart of such a
person, it would prevent him from speaking in this abhorrent manner. Hence
we say: Ignore this waswaas, for you have committed the greatest evil, but
you have a Lord Who is Most Merciful and Most Kind; He accepts the
repentance of the penitent, forgives the sinner, and turns bad deeds into
good. So make your resolve firm, fill your heart with respect for Allah, may
He be exalted, and respect for His religion, and read a great deal of Quran
and do a lot of righteous deeds.
We
ask Allah to accept your repentance and forgive you your sins.
And
Allah knows best.