Praise be to Allaah.
It is permissible for a man to find pleasure in speaking to
his wife and looking at her or at her picture in a chat program, so long as
he takes precautions so that no one else can see or spy on him.
With regard to masturbation with the hand, the general
principle is that it is haraam, except in the case of one who fears that he
may fall into zina, in which case it is permitted.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was
asked: Is it permissible for a married couple to talk about sex on the
telephone and provoke one another until one or both of them reaches climax,
without using the hand because it is haraam? This happens because my husband
is always travelling and we only see one another every four months.
He replied: There is nothing wrong with it; rather it is
Question: What if it involves using the hand?
Shaykh: Using the hand is subject to further discussion; it
is only permissible if the person fears that he may fall into zina.
Questioner: And without using the hand there is nothing wrong
Shaykh: Yes, without using the hand there is nothing wrong
with it; he may imagine himself being intimate with her and there is nothing
wrong with that. End quote.
See also the answer to questions number
And Allaah knows best.