Praise be to Allaah.
If a man proposes marriage to a woman and offers her gifts to
marry him, then she refuses to marry him, he has the right to ask her to
give back the gifts that he gave her.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said in al-Fataawa al-Kubra (5/472): Even if the gifts were given
before the marriage contract (nikaah) and they had promised marriage but
then they gave the girl in marriage to someone else, he may take them back.
Al-Mardaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in
al-Insaaf (8/296), after quoting the words of Shaykh al-Islam: I say:
This is something concerning which there is no doubt.
The great scholar al-Zarkashi al-Shaafa’i said in his book
al-Manthoor fi’l-Qawaa’id al-Fiqhiyyah (3/269): If he proposes marriage
to a woman and she accepts, and he brings them a gift then she does not
marry him, then he may take back what he gave to her, because he only gave
it on the basis that they were going to give her to him in marriage, and
that did not happen. End quote.
Thus it is clear that the sister who is asking this question
has to give back to this man everything that he gave to her, so long as she
is the one who refused to marry him. Whatever of his gifts is still present
should be returned and whatever has been used up or damaged should be
replaced, or its value should be given.
The great scholar al-Jamal al-Shaafa’i said in his commentary
on Sharh Manhaj al-Tullaab (4/129): It should be returned to him if
it is still present and it should be replaced if it has been used up or
damaged. End quote.
The great scholar al-San’aani said in Subul al-Salaam
(2/220): That which was given before the marriage contract is permissible
and he may take it back if it is still present; this applies to items that
are usually given to be used up. But with regard to items that are not
usually used up, he may ask for their value if they are damaged, unless they
refuse to go ahead with the marriage, in which case he has the right to ask
for its value in both scenarios. End quote.
i.e., if they refused to give her to him in marriage, he may
take back the value if they have used up what they took from him, whether
the items that he gave were consumable or not. This applies to items that
the sister has consumed. But what he consumed himself he has no right to ask
her for its value.
It should be noted that the man is a stranger to his fiancée
and it is not permissible for him to be alone with her or to shake hands
with her or go out with her.
And Allaah knows best.